The topless protests in the Ukraine looked like fun…


Huffington Post — A topless demonstration in Ukraine got ugly outside the Georgian embassy when a security guard fought with half-naked women on Monday. The shirtless ladies from the women’s activist group FEMEN were part of a larger protest in Kiev criticizing the Georgian government for jailing three photographers accused of spying, the Guardian reported.

A security guard shoved FEMEN members and kicked a photographer taking their picture before a policemen separated them, as seen in a video posted on Animal New York. It was a busy week for the women of FEMEN who just can’t seem to keep their shirts on. Last week, the group splashed around in a Kiev fountain to draw attention to expected hot-water shortages during the Euro 2012 soccer tournament which will be held in Ukraine and Poland.


Feminists with dyke haircuts? Check.  Beat chicks letting their titties flop around in the streets of the Ukraine? Checkkkk.  Seriously, find me a protest titled “Hot Chicks Against The Wearing Of Clothes” and I’m all-in.  But don’t get the Ukrainian men all juiced up ready to see some hot bitches then disappoint them with all these random broads goin buckwild sporting buzz cuts and jelly rolls.  That’ll get them back in the nuclear reactors in a fucking heartbeat.

PS. What does three jailed photographers have ANYTHING to do with taking your shirts off?

PPS. Oh it was THESE chicks getting riled up? Holla at me Katrinka and Anastasia!





Alien’s Just Don’t Want To Visit Earth

HuffPost — When former astronaut Story Musgrave addresses an expected huge throng of UFO believers in California next week, he’lldelight the crowd when he tells them he believes we’re not alone in the universe. But then he’s going to tell members of the Mutual UFO Network — the largest UFO research organization in the world — just what they don’t want to hear: Earth has probably not been visited by extraterrestrials. And that’s bound to disappoint many of the paying crowd at the 42nd annual MUFON Symposium in Irvine, Calif. The gathering will feature nuclear physicist Stanton Friedman, former Air Force intelligence officer George Filer and other prominent UFO researchers. “I’m going to tell them that, for me, and my interpretation of everything that’s come my way, I cannot arrive at the idea that we have been visited — either in the past or now,” Musgrave told The Huffington Post.

Seriously, I need a ticket to this UFO symposium and I needed it yesterday.  Because let me tell you one thing, girls SWEAT it when dudes get emotional.  Its in their motherly DNA and shit.  So when I’m sitting there with my whole world turned upside down by Story Musgrave saying UFO’s don’t wanna come to Earth, you best believe I’ll be getting my cry on.  Just have nerdy babes rubbing my back and shit telling me its gonna be okay.  Uhhhh no its fucking not cutiepie!  I didn’t come all the way to Cali to have some astronaut crush my dreams.  Oh what’s that?  You have a spot in Malibu we can go?  Well then, I’ll be sending my unidentified flying objects into your eyeball.  Boom, case closed.

Bitching and moaning works 200% of the time


You have no idea how much I hate when kids bitch and moan for attention.  Like if I was the homeboy in the black Hurley shirt (sweet threads brah) that nabbed the ball from this brat, I would’ve rubbed it right in his fucking face.  But if there’s one thing I have learned from being the baby of the family, it’s that if you bitch and moan, SOMEBODY will pay attention to you eventually.  Oh what’s that? You think you’re hot shit giving the ball to your girlfriend?  BOOM.  I just got a fucking ball HAND DELIVERED to me.  Probably got that shit autographed by the whole Giants team and now he’s an internet sensation.  Take notes black shirt, little guy just stole your spotlight.

Three-legged duck from China headed to the Venice Beach Freakshow


Save a drumstick for Todd Ray — or three for that matter. The Los Angeles resident is trying to rescue a three-legged duck that is supposedly alive and well in Nan’an, a town in the Fujian Province of China. Ray runs the Venice Beach Freakshow in Los Angeles and has, perhaps, the largest collection of bizarre animals in the world — including 22 living two-headed animals and a five-legged dog. Now, he wants to find and purchase the three-legged duck and bring it to California. He hopes he has more than a wing and a prayer of making his ducky dreams come true.

First of all, not entirely surprised here…something with extra limbs coming from an impoverished part of Asia? Get outta town!  Call me a pussy though, but am I the only one who DOESN’T wanna go to the Venice Beach Freakshow.  Just kinda seems like a safehaven for fuckin weirdos IE: people who collect pickled babies or hang 50 pound weights from their nipples.  Not my cup of tea.  I’ll stick to the Cali beaches and 20 lane highways.

PS. Does pickled mean…like in pickle juice? What parent agrees to give their dead baby to a Pickler?