Wasn’t planning on spending my weekend hunting down a fox murderer but I guess I have no choice


NYDaily News

A fox miraculously survived after being shot in the head with an arrow. Remarkable pictures show the little animal with the arrow sticking out of its neck after being deliberately targeted near London. The 3-year-old vixen was rescued by staff from the Wildlife Aid Foundation charity in early December.

The fox then underwent an hour of surgery to remove the arrow and repair the agonizing entry and exit wounds.

First things first, I have a confession to make. I’ve been living a lie. I’ve been living this tough guy persona my whole life as if I’m hunting down 12-point bucks or wild boars on the regular. I’m not. In fact, I’m a gigantic pussy when it comes to killing animals. Pretty much if you’re larger than a mosquito and/or don’t wanna kill me (sharks, snakes, T-Rex, etc.) then I probably want to protect you with my life. That goes a millionfold if you’re a cute ass fox. I mean, my boy Frankie (he’s definitely a Frankie) is straight up adorable

He’s just trying to do fox things, not take an arrow through the ear hole and spend an hour in surgery getting that shit removed. So if you live in London and enjoy bow and arrowing 3-year-old woodland creatures, you better sleep with one eye open because I’m gonna return the favor on Frankie’s behalf. 

PS. I’ve always wondered if pets in foreign countries understand their owners’ accents. Like my brain is so dumb and American that I just assume animals are wired to only comprehend English ipso facto, a dog in China is constantly thinking “what the FUCK did that man just say to me?”

PPS. Apparently a “vixen” is a female fox. Whatever. SHE looks like a Frankie then. 


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