Breaking: Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are exchanging passive-aggressive blows on Twitter

Page Six — TMZ reports Swift was hurt by Harris taking full credit for the song and that it played a part in their eventual breakup. But it became clear that Harris’ grievances weren’t just about Swift claiming credit for having written the song, as the rant soon took on a decidedly more personal bent. “I figure if you’re happy in your new relationship you should focus on that instead of trying to tear your ex bf down for something to do,” he wrote.

Hey Taylor, I have a proposition for you. And no, this isn’t a self-serving sales pitch for you to date an Average Joe…but seriously, I think you need to try dating an Average Joe. Celebrity boyfriend after celebrity boyfriend, album after album, your fame-riddled relationships have consistently been disastrous. 

So if you wanna go against public opinion and prove that you aren’t the career-first serial dater who uses her shitty relationships as fuel for musical MASTERPIECES (1989 was lit let’s be honest,) then you need to date a nobody. Because clearly the celeb circuit is not working for you. And if you truly are the musical genius you’re known to be, you should be able to write songs about ANY relationship. That means celebrity breakups, but that also means dating John Smith – Tax Accountant at KPMG, or Steve Jones – 6th grade English teacher. Let’s see you churn out bangers with THAT material. Because until then, everyone is just gonna look at you as the undateable chick who will die alone in a pool of dollar bills from her celebrity ex-bashing anthems. 

PS. people are gonna say “oh she HAS to suck in bed, right?” Wrong. This has nothing to do with sex, and has everything to do with the fact that Taylor Swift is UNBEARABLE as a person. Everything she does is a calculated career move, and wherever she goes, she’s convinced people love her. “Oh I bet rappers would love to have me on their songs, hey Kendrick, let’s drop a hizzot rap remix yo! Wiggity watch my rhyme skizzils!” No Taylor. Stay in your fucking lane. Yes, you’ve had ungodly amounts of success all across the genres, but Jesus Christ you are in everyone’s face at ALL TIMES, and nobody is safe from you dipping your toes into their metaphorical waters. I wouldn’t bat an eyelash if tomorrow she dropped a song with YoYo Ma just to get a foot in the door of classical music. Or did a song with Skrillex just to rock the boat in Calvin Harris’ DJ world. It all just proves she’s an undateable child who doesn’t know when she’s pissing people off. Give me Fearless Taylor 100 times out of 10 and we’ll forget this rant ever happened. 

PPS. never forget: 


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